Never

            I need to clear my mind. Away from despair. Away from craziness. Away from negativity. People keep telling me to stay positive, to have hope in things; to desire for a particular thing to happen, in any case.

            I’m just terrified. All these years, I thought I was. But no. I have never been this way before. It’s weird. At first, I didn’t think it would happen. I thought it would be like how it usually be, where it would be temporary, like it will fade away eventually, day by day. Now, I’ve realized that being like this, is just insane.

            It’s just that, having this, is what makes it difficult. I thought of it before, but never knew it would be real, until someone mentioned it. That moment after I heard it, I stopped whatever I was doing, I sat still and stared at a wall. I had a series of thoughts that distracted my attention that day, because everything made complete sense.